


Bundle of Joy

by kate811



Category: The Nanny
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2014-08-08
Packaged: 2018-01-01 21:52:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1048996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate811/pseuds/kate811
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times CC interacts with the Sheffield kids, and one time she interacts with her own. Niles is there, too, of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Maggie

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: Hi, everyone! Hope you guys like it, and if you want to fan girl over Niles and CC with me, you can find me on tumblr (mindylahiris) and twitter (mindyIahiri)!

**Bundle of Joy Chapter 1**

 

The bright, welcome smiles and cheery, pastel scrubs of the nurses do nothing to squelch the dread that forms a knot in her stomach as her heels click down the linoleum hallway.

It’s not that CC hates hospitals, not that she looks forward to entering a breeding ground for death and disease, no, it’s that she hates babies.

Well hate’s a strong word. But if the cold, heartless shoe fit…

She just didn’t see what the big deal was, anyway. Babies didn’t do anything except cry and make a mess. She once saw a documentary on the Discovery Channel about deer and learned a newborn deer could stand within 10 minutes of being born, and walk within 7 hours. Now _that_ was impressive. Newborn babies couldn’t even sit up by themselves. They were basically just useless lumps.

CC rolls her eyes as she nearly bumps into a man, or rather the giant teddy pair he’s holding that is somehow supposed to be charming, rather than a complete nuisance.

More specifically, this is what she hates: people who make a big deal over babies. _‘What the hell use does a baby have for a giant bear that’s 10 times its size? They don’t even know what bears are. I bet newborn bears can already hunt full-grown deer...’_

She shakes her head to chase away the thoughts and plasters a smile on her face. Sara is her best friend and if Maxwell and Sara wanted to start producing spawn, so be it. She would be there for them and smile and pretend to care.

A candy striper points her in the direction of her friend’s room, and CC tentatively knocks.

“CC! Come in! Come in!” Maxwell greets enthusiastically as he opens the door, immediately knocking the wind out of her as he envelops her in a tight embrace.

“Oomph,” C.C. replies gracefully.

Maxwell loosens his hold on her so that his hands are instead gripping either shoulder. “Oh wait till you see her, CC! 9 pounds, 10 ounces! Can you believe it?”

CC widens her eyes to feign shocked interest. She has no clue if this means the kid is a shrimp or a tub of lard, but Maxwell seems to think it is important.

“Congratulations!” She replies weakly.

“Don’t hog her all day, Max. Let her come see!” A tired voice calls out from inside the room.

At this, Maxwell lets go. “Ah, yes. Go right in, CC. I’m off to get Sara lunch. I trust you can handle things at the office while I take care of my girls?”

CC nods, deciding not to remind her boss that she handles things at the office even when his wife didn’t just have a baby.

Another quick hug and he’s off, practically skipping down the hallway, unable to contain his joy.

CC braces herself, prepared for her dear friend to look like she had gone through a zombie apocalypse (another drawback to the whole _having a baby thing_ , if you ask her.) However, she’s pleasantly surprised to find Sara looking lovely as ever, not a hair out of place as she smiles serenely and gestures to the pink bundle in her arms.

“She just finished nursing; she’s already so good at latching! I’m just so amazed by her.”

CC has no idea what 99% of the words in that sentence mean, but Sara sounds impressed, so she just smiles and congratulates her friend.

“Would you like to hold her?”

CC freezes.

“Oh…really, she looks so comfortable in your arms, Sara, I’d hate to cause her to fuss,” She hopes that would be the end of that.

Sara shakes her head, already maneuvering the infant to hand her off, “Nonsense, CC, you have to hold her! Maggie, say hello to your Aunt CC!”

“Must we subject her to cruel and unusual punishment already, Mrs. Sheffield? The poor thing is barely a day old.”

CC’s eyes snap immediately to the doorway, where Niles stands, holding of course, a ridiculously sized teddy bear.

Sara chuckles as Niles places the stuffed monstrosity on a chair, bends down, kisses her cheek, and congratulates her. “Now, now, children, play nice today. I don’t want Maggie’s first words to be an insult!”

The sworn enemies roll their eyes good-naturedly, and CC hopes she will luck out and Sara’s previous demands at holding her child will be forgotten now that The Creature from the British Lagoon had arrived.

“CC, come here.”

Luck is not a lady. Luck is a cheap floozy, looking for her next fling at the nearest dive bar.

“Oh all right. Let’s get this over with,” She mutters, and she swears she hears Niles try in vain to cover up a snort of laughter.

“What was that, CC?” Sara asks, too entranced by her newborn to hear.

“I said I can’t wait to hold the little darling.” CC says, thinking quickly, as the baby is plopped into her awaiting arms.

“Good God!” CC exclaims as the full weight of Maggie is placed in her arms, Maxwell’s earlier excitement over his daughter’s weight now making sense. “What the hell have you been feeding this kid, Sara? Everything?”

Sara laughs, “She’s my little butterball!”

“Aw look at that, she takes after you!” Niles says as he nudges CC.

CC shoots him a glare and looks down at the baby in her arms, her features immediately softening.

She is cute; she’ll give the kid credit for that.

“You’re a natural!” Sara exclaims.

CC smiles as the baby’s mouth rounds to a perfect O as she yawns contently…

And promptly projectile vomits all over CC.

For what seems like an eternity, the room is dead silent in shock at what has just happened.

Finally, Sara speaks, trying very hard to contain her amusement, “Oh…oh dear. I guess she was really full. I am so sorry, CC. We will, of course, pay for your dry cleaning.”

CC bites her tongue as Sara hands her a cloth to wipe herself off with, knowing her one-of-a-kind Chanel suit will never be the same regardless of how well it is cleaned.

“It’s fine, Sara. Really. Um, can someone take her? I can’t…” She motions to the towel in one hand and the baby still nestled tight in her arms.

“Here…let me,” Niles manages to get out, his voice coming out in tiny squeaks.

 CC looks at him. His face has turned beet red as his lips scrunch up, trying desperately to hold back the peals of laughter that so obviously want to explode from well within him.

“Oh, shut your stupid trap,” CC snarls as she places the now-sleeping-peacefully baby in his awaiting arms.

Niles closes his eyes while his lips still hold back a satisfied smirk.

“Sara, I will see you when you get home. Congratulations again!”

With a curt wave and a swift turn on her heels, CC Babcock is gone.

Finally, Niles and Sara burst out the laughter they had nearly failed to contain.

“The poor dear,” Sara exhales, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. “I can’t wait till she has a little one of her own. She’ll be so in love with it she won’t care what it vomits on!”

Niles sighs in pure glee, not allowing himself to picture the Abominable Babcock reproducing little she-devils of her own. For now he’s content staring at the new little life, who had made his whole day and did not even know it.

“Maggie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”


	2. Brighton

Bundle of Joy Chapter 2 – Brighton

“Look, Chad, I don’t care what the hell came up. You will have the finale choreographed by this time next week, otherwise I will personally see to it that you never work in this town again!” CC storms into Maxwell’s office, paying little attention to her surroundings as her face flushes red with rage at the loser who has dared to cross her on the other end of the line.

“Idiot thinks he can get out of his contract just because his grandmother died,” She mutters to herself as she slams the phone down and sinks into Maxwell’s chair behind the desk.

“Who’s an idiot?” A small voice startles her. 

It is then that she notices Brighton Sheffield sitting in her typical spot on the leather green loveseat, hands folded in lap, denim overalls stained with god knows what. 

“Oh. Why are you in here?” CC asks the boy, decorum be damned.

“I’m in time out,” Brighton explains.

“Oh,” CC nods.

An awkward silence engulfs the room as CC mindlessly shuffles through a pile of scripts on the desk trying to avoid eye contact with the child. A quick peek out of the corner of her eye tells her that the kid is still looking at her. Tossing the pile of scripts into the trash (an insult to the trash, really, CC notes), she focuses her attention on the kid once more.

“So, what did you do to land yourself in time out?” She asks.

Brighton sighs exasperatingly and CC finds herself hiding a smile. This is not his first time out and she has a feeling it will not be his last. The kid has a heart of gold, but always manages to attract mischief wherever he goes. CC suspects it is somehow that no good butler rubbing off on him, but Sara insists all little boys are rambunctious and that CC should stop trying to get Niles fired. Whatever.

“I stepped on the cat’s tail and it made a loud noise and woke up baby Gracie,” Brighton explains. 

“Oh that’s not so---wait a minute, wait a minute,” CC shakes her head, “Since when do you people have a cat?” 

“Oh yeah,” Brighton suddenly remembers what is probably the most crucial detail of the story, “there was a cat outside. He looked sad and hungry. So I thought I could help him.”

“You let a stray cat into the house?” CC asks incredulously.

As if on cue, a loud screech is heard from the kitchen followed by a loud crash and muttered curse words from Maxwell.

“He looked nice,” Brighton offers as explanation.

Again, CC finds herself hiding a smile as she pictures her boss trying to tackle a stray cat.

Suddenly, the door slams open to reveal a very frazzled looking Sara Sheffield, holding a red-faced, screaming baby Grace.

“Brighton Millhouse Sheffield! You will sit on that couch until dinnertime. And no dessert for a week! Do you understand?”

“Yes, Mommy,” Brighton sighs, unsurprised by the punishment.

“CC, I hate to bother you, but could you watch him? I have to calm the baby down and Maxwell is busy trying to catch the cat to take to a shelter,” Sara looks at her friend with big, pleading eyes.

 “Me?” CC suddenly wishes she hadn’t tossed the scripts into the trash, as now she can’t even feign being busy.

“I wouldn’t ask you if I wasn’t completely desperate, Ceec.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” CC says sarcastically, but unable to stand the sound of the crying baby any longer, she sighs yieldingly, “Alright, alright, fine. I’ll watch him.”

“Niles can take him when dinner is ready! Thanks so much, CC! Brighton, behave yourself,” Sara instructs and in a flash, she is out of the room.

An awkward, but appreciated silence envelops the room as CC waits for the ringing in her ears from the screaming baby to dissipate.

“So,” she finally says, “what am I supposed to do with you?”

Brighton shrugs. “I dunno. Stuff.”

CC looks around the room helplessly, “Um, well, I really should get some work done, seeing as your father is a little preoccupied at the moment. I guess…you could…watch me yell at cast members over the phone?”

“Okay, cool,” Brighton grins mischievously.

_ _ _ _

Niles rounds the corner, careful not to let the contents of the tray spill. As he prepares to open the door to Maxwell’s office, an angry yell from Miss Babcock startles him. He nearly tips the tray over as he storms through the door, prepared to find Brighton in tears over the demon woman’s shouting.

“BABCOCK, WHAT THE—“ He promptly shuts his mouth in shock, finding himself speechless in her presence for the first time in his life.

For instead of Brighton cowering in fear, Niles finds the child rolling on the floor in hysterical laughter while Miss Babcock berates some poor, unfortunate soul over the telephone.

If Miss Babcock is embarrassed or startled, she does not show it.

“This isn’t over,” she threatens into the phone before slamming it down on its cradle.

“What the hell do you want, Lurch?” She asks, paying no mind to the innocent ears taking in her every word.

“Well seeing as the kitchen is currently a disaster zone, I took the liberty of bringing you your dinner in here,” He motions to the tray in his hands.

CC eyes him curiously, unaccustomed to him ever doing anything remotely thoughtful for her.

“I know how you get when you’re hungry. Remind me, how many military biplanes did it take to get you down off the Empire State Building the last time?”

CC glares at him as he sets the tray down in front of her, “Oh, go away, Servant.”

“Certainly, Kong.”

CC makes a point of picking up the knife he’s supplied for her sandwich, and Niles immediately steps out of her line of fire. She smiles wickedly to herself and sets to work devouring her meal.

“Master Brighton, I will return shortly for you when your dinner is ready,” And with that he is gone from the room.

CC quickly finishes her dinner and lifts the lid off a smaller plate to reveal a big piece of chocolate cake.

“Perfect. Lysol-breath wants to ensure I’m the size of a horse so he has something else to make fun of me for.”

“Who?” Brighton inquires from his spot on the sofa, causing CC to nearly spit out her iced tea in surprise.

“What? Oh. You’re still here.”

“Who’s Lysol-breath?” Brighton asks.

“Niles.” She answers simply.

“Why did you call him that?” He asks curiously.

CC sits befuddled for a moment. She’s never had to deal with children before. Somehow she doubts that answering truthfully (that Niles is a useless oaf who lives to make her life miserable) is the right route to take.

“Ooh!” She suddenly snaps her fingers. “It’s his last name!”

Brighton breaks out into a giggling fit at this revelation.

“Is that why Niles doesn’t want anyone to know his last name?”          

_Oh this is too good to be true._

“Yes. That is exactly right.”

“That’s funny,” Brighton says through peals of laughter. His laughter is infectious, and CC cannot help but join in.

 “But remember, Niles doesn’t want anyone to know his last name, so don’t go saying it around your parents. Deal?” She may not know how to interact with children, but at least she can cover her own ass so said children cannot get her into trouble with her employer and his wife.

“Deal,” Brighton grins, proud of himself for being entrusted with such a big secret.

The door swings open and Niles is back.

“I swore I heard laughter in here, but I thought your kind fed off the tears and crushed dreams of innocent children?”

CC rolls her eyes, “No, Niles, it’s the tears and crushed dreams of not-so-innocent butlers that really give my life meaning.”

It’s Niles turn to roll his eyes.

“Master Brighton, your dinner is ready,” He turns to the green sofa, but Brighton is no longer seated there.

Instead he is at CC’s side, eyeing the chocolate cake on the desk.

“Are you gonna eat all that?” He asks.

“I---“ CC starts but is suddenly unsure of how to finish. The kid is banned from dessert for a week. But they’re getting along so well.

Niles chuckles. “I’m not sure if watching Miss Babcock unhinge her jaw and swallow cake whole is really what your parents had in mind when they punished you.”

“Don’t be a jackass, Niles,” She crosses her arms and glares up at him.

“Yeah, don’t be a jackass, Niles,” Brighton imitates, complete with arm crossing.

CC’s jaw drops. _‘Oh this is fantastic. Niles will surely tell Sara, and I will be banned from working from their home ever again.’_

Her jaw drops further when instead of getting angry, Niles is laughing. Relieved, CC joins in.

“Oh, my God,” Niles sighs, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes.

“Really though, what did Sara expect when she left the kid with me?” CC asks innocently.

“Certainly not spoonfuls of sugar or raindrops on roses,” Niles shakes his head.

CC sighs and looks at the boy, who is staring intently at the cake, unaware of the commotion he has caused.

“Here you go, kid,” She hands him the fork. Brighton’s eyes widen incredulously, and he digs in.

“But he’s not supposed to---“ Niles starts, but CC cuts him off.

“I won’t tell if you won’t.”

He looks at her and she shrugs.

“Fine,” He acquiesces. “I have some other errands to attend to. I will be back in a little while.”

“Sure, Niles. Go ahead and attend to your errands. Maxwell’s brandy isn’t going to drink itself.”

“You would know, lush.” He smirks at her.

She opens her mouth to retort but Niles has already moved on.

“Master Brighton, you stay here with Miss Babcock. I will be back in a little while for you.”

Brighton looks up from the cake, “Okay, Mr. Lysol-breath.”

Niles shakes his head as CC cackles, slapping her own knee.

“Try not to do any more damage before I get back,” He instructs as he exits.

Sighing gleefully, CC grabs another fork off the tray. She clinks it against the boy’s as if they are toasting champagne.

 “Good one, kid,” She takes a bite of the cake as Brighton grins up at her, chocolate covering his entire face.


	3. Grace

Chapter 3 – Grace

She sits alone in the office, trying in vain to finish reading over the latest script revisions from their show. She sighs, tossing the script down on the desk, knowing her efforts are fruitless today.

Looking out the window at the pouring rain and hearing the wind howl, she shivers, wrapping her black sweater around her tighter. She feels the cold all the way down to her bones, and this house…this house that was always so warm with love and happiness…no longer warms her up. Instead it is now a dark empty shell of the place it once was.

CC shakes her head, willing the thoughts away. She didn’t cry when the police arrived at the house and said there had been an accident. She didn’t cry when Maxwell and Niles returned from the hospital and announced that Sara had died. She didn’t cry as she planned her best friend’s funeral while Maxwell was holed up in his room and Niles took care of the confused, devastated children. She didn’t cry earlier as she watched the casket being lowered into the ground. So she sure as hell wasn’t going to cry now, alone in the office, taking care of business as usual so that Maxwell could grieve in peace.

She clenches her teeth as her hands shake, trying to fight back the tears. She needs a drink. That’ll calm her down.

CC turns the lights off in the office, knowing that getting any actual work done tonight is a lost cause, and she then makes her way into the living room. She nearly sighs in relief that the bar is still fully stocked, and she pours herself a generous glass of whiskey. Just as she is about to take her first sip, footsteps on the stairwell startle her. She debates rushing back into the office, knowing if it’s Maxwell or one of the children, she’ll be completely at a loss for what to do or say.

She is relieved when she realizes it is only Niles, however, he is not alone. In his arms is the youngest Sheffield, still sniffling from the probable crying she had done upon waking up.

“Shhh, shh, Miss Grace. We don’t want to wake up your sister and brother, do we?” Niles asks in soothing tones.

“Want…Mama,” the toddler cries, her chubby little fingers rubbing tiredly at her eyes.

CC’s heart sinks as she watches the butler take a seat on the sofa, cradling the little girl in his arms.

“I’m so sorry, Miss Grace. I’m so sorry,” he says over and over again, and CC can tell he is almost at the point of losing it.

She puts the untouched glass of whiskey back down on the bar, and the clatter of the glass on the marble surface startles Niles.

“Oh, Miss Babcock, I didn’t realize you were still here,” he says tiredly and without any trace of the usual hostility he reserves for her in his voice. The two have come to an unspoken agreement to be civil to one another since Sara’s death. CC cannot tell if she is thankful (she doesn’t really have the energy to fight anyway) or if she misses exchanging barbs with her archenemy.

“Do you want me to---“ she clears her throat, her voice suddenly hoarse, “Do you want me to go get Maxwell?”

Niles closes his eyes and shakes his head slowly.

“You’ve already tried Maxwell?” She guesses.

He nods. “He didn’t answer.”

CC isn’t surprised. Maxwell hadn’t left his room since returning from the hospital and telling the children of Sara’s death, only coming out for the funeral and burial.

She clears her throat again, “Well, I guess I should---“

“Mama?” Grace lifts her head from Niles’ arms at the sound of a woman’s voice.

CC freezes.

“Mama?” Her voice is more desperate and Grace begins fighting Niles’ arms, trying to turn around to follow the voice.

“Niles?” CC asks, a slight panic in her voice.

Niles tries to calm the child, doing his best to rock her back to sleep, but it is no use.

“Mama? Mama?! MAMA?” Grace wails, finally freeing herself from Niles grip and turning around to locate the voice.

CC thought for sure that once Grace turned around, she would realize it was not her mother. CC and Sara looked nothing alike, aside from both having blonde hair. The room is nearly dark though, with the chandelier on its dimmest setting, and Grace is young enough and delirious enough with exhaustion to believe anything.

“MAMA? Want….Mama,” Grace’s cries get louder and louder and her arms reach out for CC to take her.

“Niles, I don’t know what to do. I’m not…I can’t…” CC’s voice nearly breaks as she trails off.

Niles nods, tears forming in his eyes.

“Just go, Miss Babcock. She’ll fall asleep eventually.”

CC turns to gather her things, when a piercing shriek echoes throughout the room.

“NO! Don’t…go….want…Mama,” Grace gets out in between sobs.

Before she realizes what she’s doing, CC has quickly made it back to the couch. She scoops Grace up in her arms and sits back down next to Niles, rocking the girl while holding her tightly.

“Miss Babcock, you don’t have to—“ Niles starts, shocked at her actions.

“Shhh, Grace. It’s okay, it’s okay,” She says, ignoring Niles as she rubs the little girl’s back comfortingly.

Eventually, the rocking and CC’s voice calm Grace down, and when CC feels the arms around her neck loosen, she realizes the child has fallen asleep.

“Niles?” She whispers, startling him from the trance he has been in since she took the child from his arms.

“Hmm? Oh, I will take her up to her room,” He holds out his arms to receive the little girl, but CC shakes her head.

“I don’t want to wake her up. Just show me where her room is, please.”

Niles nods, and leads her up the stairs into the nursery. CC places the toddler into her crib, gently tucks her in, and strokes the light brown hair off the child’s face before turning and leaving the room.

Niles follows her back down the stairs and watches as she walks back to the bar, immediately picking up the forgotten glass of whiskey, giving her hands something to do.

“Miss Babcock, I don’t know how to thank you for what you did tonight. Miss Grace has done that every night since, and I think that’s the first time she has truly fallen completely asleep.”

CC nods, still not turning around. Niles notices her arms have not moved; she is still gripping the glass in her hands, not drinking.

“Miss Babcock?” He walks over to where she stands and places a hand on her shoulder.

She turns around, her eyes filled with tears and her hands trembling.

“She’s gone, Niles. She’s really gone.”

Niles takes the drink from her hands, places it back on the bar, and envelops her in his arms as her knees give out, and CC finally breaks down. For a few minutes, she doesn’t register that she is in the arms of a man whom she is supposed to hate. She simply clutches the lapels of his jacket and cries for all she is worth with her face buried in his shoulder.

When she is all cried out, CC disentangles herself from his arms, tucking her hair behind her ears self-consciously.

“I’m sorry, Niles. I don’t know what came over me.”

“Mrs. Sheffield was your friend,” Niles says.

“She was my best friend,” CC nods, wiping the remnant tears from her eyes, “I should go. Thanks, Niles…for everything.”

“You’re welcome, Miss Babcock.” He gives her a genuine smile as he sinks back down onto the couch, the exhaustion from the day hitting him.

She gathers her things and heads for the door, pausing as she turns the nob.

“Hey, Niles?”

Surprised, he turns his head around from his spot on the sofa, “Yes?”

“Does Grace really do that every night?” She asks.

“Yes, why?” He looks at her confusedly.

“Just wondering,” She mutters as she exits the Sheffield mansion.

Niles shrugs, not thinking anything of it, as he gets up to lock the house up for the night.

\-----------

The next day, when Niles answers the door, CC is standing there with a large suitcase in each hand.

“What are you doing?” Niles asks.

CC shrugs, “Look you said the kid was having a hard time and I got her to go to sleep so I’m just gonna stay here for a little to help with her and the other kids if they need it. I don’t know…don’t make a big deal about it or anything.”

“Wasn’t going to,” Niles moves out of her way so she can get by and watches as she lugs the suitcases up the stairs.

He shakes his head, chuckling to himself as he gets back to his work, feeling for the first time in a week that they will all be okay.


	4. Sydney

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m the worst. So sorry for the delay. Lesson learned: I’m only uploading stories when they’re very close to being finished. Anyway, this chapter wasn’t in my original outline, but Sydney Sheffield totally counts as one of the Sheffield children, right? RIGHT?

Chapter 4 – Sydney

She knows she should feel bad, watching the little boy walk away with twenty bucks instead of the promised fifty, but he’s a child actor and he has to learn eventually. If you don’t deliver what the producers want, you’ll be paid accordingly. Besides, she didn’t sign any contracts with him!

He makes it to the front door, his little head slumped in defeat, before he turns around meekly.

“What?” CC asks impatiently as she pours herself a drink and sits down in the chair, anxious for the kid to get out of there before Niles comes back.

“Do I really have to wait outside for my mom to get me?”

“Oh, crap,” she forgot she had promised the kid’s mom she’d watch him until the movie was over, “yeah, sure, come in. Sit down. Just…just don’t be a nuisance or anything, got it?”

The boy nods and sits down across from her on the couch. She stares at him, unsure of what she’s supposed to do with him until the movie is over. The little boy does nothing except stare back, keeping his word that he won’t be a pain in the ass. Well, he may not have a knack for memorizing lines just yet, but CC is sure he has a promising future as an extra.

After what CC can only assume is the longest staring contest in the history of the world, they are interrupted by Niles storming back into the living room. She doesn’t even need to look up to feel the tension and anger radiating off of him. She smiles smugly to herself. Serves him right.

“How long?” Niles asks through gritted teeth.

“His mother is going to come get him when the movie is over,” She answers innocently.

“No, no, not that,” Niles sighs exasperatedly, “How long did you know I was…” he cuts himself off, realizing his mistake in wording.

“How long did I know you were messing with me? Well, let’s see, Niles, we’ve known each other what? 15? 16 years? I’d say I’ve known about that long.”

He sighs again, “So you knew the whole time that there was no Sydney Sheffield?”

The feeling of satisfaction at finally beating Niles at his own game fades fast, and CC feels the irritation beginning to build.

“I’m not even going to dignify that with a response. You’re even dumber than I thought you were if you think I don’t know how many children my best friend had.”

He looks at her incredulously, “I’M dumb? You crawled around a movie theatre tonight pretending to look for a nonexistent child just to trick me!”

“I wouldn’t have had to if you hadn’t been an idiot in the first place and tried to get me to believe there was a fourth Sheffield kid!”

“I…that’s…you…” Niles sputters and CC smirks triumphantly.

“Well I wouldn’t have felt the need to trick you if you weren’t so desperate for Mr. Sheffield’s attention!” CC’s smile promptly vanishes as she takes in the arrogant look on his stupid face. God, she wants to strangle him. And she just might.

She slams her drink down, stands up, and faces off with Niles, nose to nose, both panting heavily. If she weren’t so incensed she would swear she’s turned on.

“You have no idea—“

A giggle interrupts their feud, and both heads turn to the couch, both forgetting that the kid is still in their presence.

“Crap,” CC mutters.

“You guys are funny,” Sydney says through peals of laughter.

“Funny? Funny? Kid, we hate each other. We’re fighting. When grown ups don’t get along, this is what they do,” CC explains slowly and deliberately, sounding very much like a nursery school teacher, save for her lesson plan.

Niles gives her a slow clap, “Another job well done, Mother Grey Goose.”

“My mommy and daddy fight like that sometimes, but then they always make up. They say sometimes you have to fight in order to make up, so you know how much you love each other,” Sydney explains, mimicking CC’s earlier patient tone. CC’s secretly impressed. Perhaps the kid has a future in acting after all.

She hides the fact that she’s impressed by quickly clearing her throat, “Well, that’s just bullsh—“

“What Miss Babcock is trying to say,” Niles quickly cuts her off, “is that sometimes grownups just don’t get along. It doesn’t mean they secretly love each other.”

“If you say so,” the little boy smirks knowingly, leaning back into the couch and putting his hands behind his head.

“I have half a mind—“ CC starts.

“At last, she admits it,” Niles exclaims to no one in particular.

CC glares at him, then turns her attention back to the child, “As I was saying, I have half a mind to take your twenty bucks back, Sydney.”

“Babcock, I know this is a foreign concept to you, but for crying out loud, woman, have a heart,” Niles pleads.

“Why should I? He’s pissing me off!” She exclaims, crossing her arms and glaring at the kid.

“He’s a child! That’s what they do!” Niles mimics her post, though glaring at her instead of the boy.

“I’m hungry,” Sydney proclaims, evidently over their discussion on the meaning of love. CC can’t tell if she’s annoyed he forgot his previous promise to not be a pain in the ass and sit there quietly, or if she’s relieved the discussion is over.

Relieved. Definitely relieved.

“Niles, be a dear and do something useful for once in your life and fetch Sydney a snack,” She bats her eyelashes at her foe.

“Fine, but only because I’m certain you’d find a way to ‘accidentally’ poison him if I left it up to you,” Niles grumbles as he leaves the room.

CC returns to her previous staring contest with the kid, narrowing her eyes at him suspiciously.

“What?” Sydney asks, feigning innocence. Dammit, his future is totally filled with Academy Awards. Little brat.

“Nothing,” She replies dumbly.

“You like him,” He grins knowingly.

“Niles isn’t here to save you from me, you know,” She reminds him.

“Niles and Miss Babcock sitting in a tree,” Sydney singsongs. CC wonders how many years she’d get for manslaughter. Second degree murder, tops.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve, kid.” She mutters lamely.

“He likes you, too, ya know,” He adds quietly.

“That’s it! I want my money back, you ungrateful little…” She trails off, realization dawning on her, “Wait what? What did you just say?”

“Yep,” Sydney nods and folds his hands together nefariously.

She’s spared from having to form a coherent reply when Niles returns, placing a tray of milk and cookies in front of the boy, who digs in ravenously. 

“You couldn’t have let the boy eat dinner at the theatre before you kidnapped him?” Niles asks, and CC swears she hears a trace of humor in his voice.

“HIRED him, not kidnapped,” She corrects. “And anyway, what does a small child want with a lobster dinner anyway? What a waste.”

Niles shakes his head, chucking to himself, actually amused by her instead of getting ready to set her up for an insult. CC eyes him.

“What?” Niles asks.

“What?” CC answers.

They stare at each other a few beats longer than necessary, when a car horn breaks the spell.

“That’s my mom!” Sydney announces.

CC shakes her head as if to banish the previous moment with Niles from her mind, quickly gathering up the boy’s things, shoving everything, including the cookies, into his backpack.

“Okay! Time for you to go on home! Tell your mom thanks! See you at future auditions, probably! Okay goodbye!” She scurries the kid to the door. He hands her the glass of milk, but she again shakes her head and gently nudges him out the door. No time for that. Besides, it’s not like it’s Maxwell’s good china.

“Bye, Sydney!” Niles calls.

“Bye! By the way, my name isn’t really Sydney. It’s---“ 

CC slams the door and wipes her hands on her dress.

“Well, I think we can both agree that a valuable lesson was learned tonight,” Niles starts.

“Yep, we sure can,” CC agrees. “Never hire a child actor off the street. Always get an audition first. Even better if they have an agent.”

Niles sighs. She’s fully ready for him to roll his eyes and berate her for the stunt she’s pulled, but instead he laughs.

“What? Did you double dip in your blood pressure meds tonight or something?” She asks warily.

“Do you think the boy was onto something? With us, I mean?” Niles asks suddenly.

CC eyes him carefully. His face is perfectly neutral, and he sets to work cleaning up the tray of crumbs left behind from the little monster.

“I…Niles, he’s a wannabe child actor. He was probably trying to wrangle a few more bucks out of us,” She explains.

He nods, turning his back to her as he dusts crumbs off the couch, “Yes, yes of course. You’re right.”

CC nods, and then remembers he can’t see her, “Besides, the idea of us together? It’s ludicrous, right?” She throws in an awkward, fake laugh for good measure.

There’s a pause that lasts 5 seconds or 50 seconds, she doesn’t know. She just knows the tension in the room is clawing at her throat, making it difficult to breathe.

“Absolutely,” Niles answers.

She pretends she doesn’t notice his shoulders droop or his head bend. She’ll deny hearing any trace of regret in his voice. She’ll ignore the pit of dread that forms in her stomach telling her that she’s wrong, so wrong, that the idea of them together isn’t so bad after all…

“Anyway! I should get going!” She quickly gathers up her belongings and heads for the door.

“Hey, Babcock?” Niles calls and she turns around, not expecting him to be facing her but pleased to see the familiar twinkle in his eyes.

“Yes?” She asks, cursing herself for the trace of hopefulness she can hear in her voice.

“I remind you I’m a heart patient…maybe let’s try to keep the fake kidnappings down to once per decade?” He winks.

CC smiles, “Fine, but for the record tonight’s barely even counts. The kid couldn’t follow any of my directions!”

Niles shakes his head good-naturedly, “Good night, Miss Babcock.”

“Good night,” She calls over her shoulder as she quickly exits the Sheffield mansion and shuts the door. She glances back, seeing Niles exit the living room, presumably to wash the tray that housed the cookies. Turning around, she leans her back into the cool glass of the door, sighing as she wonders what the hell happened tonight.

“Stupid Sydney,” she mutters as she collects herself and marches down the steps to locate her car, trying to decide if the 20 bucks she paid him was the worst money she’s ever spent, or the best.


	5. Jonah & Eve

Chapter 5 – Jonah & Eve

She sighs gratefully as she pulls into their driveway, looking forward to a relaxing night of taking a bubble bath, putting her feet up, and having her sexy husband massage every muscle in her tired, aching body.

She’s had a long day at work, with actors demanding ridiculous salaries and directors wanting to change the ‘creative direction’ of the show, whatever the hell that meant – she wasn’t paying these people to think. Not to mention Maxwell surpasses his old record for how useless he can be by leaving shortly after lunch due to some ‘family emergency’ Nanny Fine has called about.

CC rolls her eyes as she gets out of the car. Nanny Fine’s idea of a family emergency is one of the twins having the hiccups, or Loehmann’s having a sale and not being able to find a babysitter, so really she isn’t worried…

That is, until she gets to her front door and hears the sound of babies crying from inside. She weights the benefits of turning around and heading for the nearest hotel, but her feet really do hurt and there’s a couch right inside, plus she did make that pesky “for better or worse” vow, so she takes a deep breath and enters the house.

“Honey, I’m home,” she deadpans as she sees that Niles has two red-faced, chubby, screaming Sheffield babies in each of his arms, the room littered with various toys, clothing, and other paraphernalia that generally goes along with infants.

“Oh, good, you’re here. We have to watch Jonah and Eve,” Her husband replies.

“I can see that. And I can hear that,” She replies as she removes her shoes and takes a deep cleansing breath, “and I don’t remember agreeing to this so I’m not sure who this ‘we’ is you’re talking about?”

“Please, just take one of them. They won’t stop crying, I can’t put them down, I have no free hands to feed them…please, Babcock! I’m desperate!” Niles pleads, and she almost feels sorry for him.

“Make it worth my while,” What? She said ‘almost.’

Niles sighs. “Foot massages. Three times a day. For the rest of the pregnancy. I’ll even come to work during your lunch breaks.”

“Deal,” she beams at him, “now give me whichever one is being less of a pain in the ass.”

“So nice to see your maternal instincts are kicking in this early,” He remarks dryly as he hands her the boy baby.

To both their surprise, the twins immediately begin to settle down.

“I guess over at Hotel Sheffield they’re not used to having to share the spotlight with one person holding the both of them,” She surmises as she sits down on their couch, letting Jonah curl up on her chest and the small swell of her abdomen.

Niles sits down next to her, cradling Eve in his arms, letting her grab onto his fingers. “Have I told you lately how grateful I am there’s only one in there?”

“You’re so old and decrepit, I’m surprised you were even able to rise to the challenge of putting one in there,” She winks at him as she rubs the baby’s back. “Anyway, to what do we owe the displeasure of the company of Nanny Fine’s spawn?”

“Again, you’re just really wowing me with how motherly you’ve become,” Niles says with a smirk. “It seems Sylvia contracted a bout of food poisoning so they’re keeping her at the hospital so she doesn’t get dehydrated. She’ll be fine, but Mrs. Sheffield was naturally concerned.”

“You know, I’m actually surprised Sylvia doesn’t get food poisoning more often,” CC muses. The baby in her arms sighs contently.

“I think he likes you,” Niles smiles warmly at her and the boy.

“I think he’s just happy to have a woman holding him who doesn’t sound like Janice on Friends,” she says, and the baby girl in Niles’ arms lets out a perfectly timed belly laugh.

“Look at that! They both like you! Don’t you, baby girl? Yes you do, yes you do! You like your Aunt CC,” Niles coos to Eve.

“Uncle Niles sounds like an idiot, doesn’t he, Eve?” CC asks the baby girl, cursing herself inwardly for sporting the same saccharine tone her husband used.

“It’s hard to resist, isn’t it?” Niles asks knowingly.

“We will not be talking to our child like a couple of cracked out Disney characters,” She states, a note of determination in her voice.

Niles laughs and she braces herself for the onslaught of parenting advice he’s sure to bestow upon her from all the books he’s taken to reading lately, “You say that now, but the moment he or she is born, you’ll be singing a different tune. And that tune will probably be a Disney song.”

“Don’t hold your breath, Dopey.”

“You’ll see. Five months ago you wouldn’t have even considered watching the Sheffield children. You would have walked in, saw me holding them, and turned around and went to the nearest hotel,” She bites back a grin at how well her husband knows her, “and now look at you. You adore them!”

“I like them just fine,” She corrects him. “They’re actually not that bad when they’re not crying, even when they’re getting in the way of the relaxing night I had planned with my husband. Plus you promised me foot massages.”

“That I did,” Niles winks and pats her legs, “and now that these two have settled down and I have a free hand, I will go get their bottles ready so we can feed them, put them to bed, and I’ll make good on my word.”

“You bet your ass you will,” CC calls to his retreating form. “I’ve got that man wrapped around my little finger, don’t I, Jonah?”

The baby yawns and curls up even more against her chest, his chubby hand yanking on her shirt for something to hold onto. Unwilling to chance the threading on her favorite silk maternity blouse being pulled, she substitutes her shirt with her finger in his hand. He grasps her finger tightly and his eyes grow heavy. She begins rubbing his back again, for lack of anything else to do, plus he seems to like it. Soon, his eyes flutter shut, and she feels a boost in her confidence in her own abilities to keep a child alive.

Niles returns, balancing two bottles in one hand and a babbling baby Eve in the other. Instead of returning to the couch, he stops dead in his tracks, his mouth falling open, and CC wonders if she’s done something wrong with the kid.

“What? He seems okay to me?” She asks, looking down at the baby in her arms confusedly.

“No, it’s not that,” Niles shakes his head. “He’s fine. It’s just…god, you’re so beautiful. And seeing you hold a baby, I just, I cannot wait until it’s our own child.”

She tears up at the unexpected compliment. Damn hormones.

“You’re growing soft in your old age,” She manages through a watery laugh-sob.

“Evidently not,” He remarks pointedly, glancing at her abdomen.

She rolls her eyes, fighting back a grin. She looks back down at Jonah, noting he’s fallen asleep at last.

“Hey, Niles, this one’s out cold.”

“Oh, in that case, I can put him in his car seat if you’ll just hold Eve for a second?”

CC takes one look at the squealing, drooling little girl in Niles’ arms and decides she’d rather stick with the quiet, reserved Jonah for now.

“That’s alright, just point me to where the car seat is and I’ll do it while you shove a bottle in Fran Junior’s mouth.”

Niles laughs and does just that.

She’s busy fastening the straps in Jonah’s car seat when Niles sighs, and she can tell he’s gearing up for their near daily argument.

“Out with it, Butler Boy.”

“I was just thinking about us taking care of the twins. Doesn’t this make you want to find out what we’re having? At all?”

She rolls her eyes to Jonah. He’s sleeping, he’ll never tell.

“For what feels like the millionth time, no, Niles, we’re not finding out the gender.”

“Why not?” Niles pouts. “Don’t you want to know if we’re having a mellow little boy like Jonah or if we, too, will have a prima donna on our hands like Eve?”

The bottle slips away from Eve’s mouth for a moment and she lets out a wail as if the world is ending. The apple didn’t fall far from the Fine family tree with that one.

“No,” CC starts as she finishes tucking Jonah in and sits back down next to her husband, “I want it to be a surprise, Niles.”

“Yes, but why? You plan everything. I figured you of all people would want to know everything possible before diving into this adventure called parenthood.”

“Exactly, Niles. I always have a well thought out plan for every aspect of my life. I guess I just want one more surprise, that’s all,” CC explains as she curls up to him.

“One more surprise?” He asks.

“Yes, well, I certainly didn’t see you coming, did I?” She elbows him gently in the ribs, of course referring to their whirlwind romance that started with what she affectionately refers to as The Proposal Heard ‘Round the World.

“That’s true,” Niles admits.

“And I certainly did not expect to end up getting married over Nanny Fine’s dilating cervix, and then finding out 5 minutes later that we would be expecting our own little bundle of joy in 9 months,” She continues.

“To hear you talk about our wedding day,” Niles jokingly wipes a fake tear out of his eye, “I swear it’s like you’re reciting a Shakespearean love sonnet.”

“Shut up, you know I loved our ridiculous wedding. It was so unexpected and chaotic and, I guess, so very us. I wouldn’t trade it for anything,” She squeezes his hand in reassurance.

“So you want one more surprise before we settle into boring married life?” He asks.

CC laughs, “I sincerely doubt we will ever settle into anything remotely boring, but yes, I’d like one more surprise. This is probably the only time we’re going to do this anyway, so we may as well make it a surprise.”

“I guess I see your point,” Niles acquiesces. “A surprise would be nice!”

“I’m always right,” CC murmurs, her eyes growing heavy as she rests her head on his chest, watching as he finishes feeding and burping Eve.

He settles the baby into his arms, allowing her to once again grab onto his fingers. She observes him bonding with the little girl, and her mind can’t help but drift to visions of what their own little girl would look and be like. She doesn’t know if it’s pure vanity or just motherly instinct when she envisions a miniature version of herself. The mischievous glint in the child’s eyes is clearly all Niles though. And the dimples. She imagines how wickedly smart and funny their daughter would be, how her mouth would probably get her into trouble, yet she’d have them both wrapped around her pinky finger from the moment they laid eyes on her. Especially Niles. She thinks of tea parties and dollhouses and fairytales and how Niles would always, always agree to “just one more” bedtime story.

A flutter in her abdomen startles her from her daydreaming, and she can’t help but wonder if it’s a sign.

“Hey, Niles?” She lifts her head up, her chin still resting on his chest.

“Yeah, Babs?” He asks distractedly, still playing with Eve.

“It’s a girl.”

Now she has his attention.

His eyes widen and his cheeks redden as he turns to look her in the eye.

“What? You mean---You mean to tell me that---You wicked witch! You told me you didn’t find out at your last appointment! What was all that talk about surprises and---“

She cuts him off with another watery laugh, her damned hormones kicking in again, “No, no! I didn’t find out! I just…have a feeling, that’s all.”

“A feeling?” Niles asks.

“I know it sounds stupid and I’m probably not even right but—“

“You’re always right,” Niles smiles, tears forming in his eyes and they’re a mess, the two of them.

At least she can blame the hormones.


	6. Chapter 6

Her body aches in ways it never has before. Parts of her she doesn’t even recall existing throb any time she so much as moves, or blinks, or breathes. Her emotions are all over the place due to the rush of hormones, making her feel things she never knew she was capable of feeling. And she is completely and utterly exhausted, down to her bones—even deeper than that, actually. Down to her very being.

18 hours of labor will do that to a woman.

She finds she doesn’t care how crappy her body feels as she gazes down at the little pink bundle nestled in her arms. She’d go through the excruciating pain every second of every day if it meant getting to call this little girl hers. The baby yawns, and CC feels like her heart could burst.

“She’s clearly the smartest baby ever born,” she says mostly to herself.

“I’m sure you’re right, but why?” Niles asks, perched on the edge of the hospital bed, never tearing his eyes away from their daughter 

“She’s tired, so she yawned,” CC explains with a shrug.

“The kid’s a genius,” Niles agrees as he smiles at their newborn, “aren’t you, Emily? Yes you are! Yes you are!”

She opens her mouth to scold him for using baby talk on their clearly superior child, but instead finds herself beaming up at her husband.

“We did this,” she says with a soft sigh, gesturing to their daughter.

“ _You_ did this,” Niles corrects her with a nudge. “You were amazing, Babs.”

“ _Drugs_ were amazing,” she amends, shifting uncomfortably in the bed, “and now they’re wearing off, so can you take her for a little bit?”

“Of course I can,” he takes the baby into his arms and stands up, rocking her gently. “Is it too early to tell her the story of how I got you to cluck like a chicken?”

“The moment you do, I retaliate with the time I caught you dancing in your underwear to Bob Seger,” she grins wickedly.

“Fine, fine,” he sighs dejectedly. “I can wait until she’s older. Maybe I’ll save it for her first birthday. 

CC rolls her eyes good-naturedly, “This kid is gonna have some pretty interesting bedtime stories.”

“Lucky her,” Niles smiles as he walks around the hospital room. He stops in front of a chair, which has an oversized hot pink teddy bear perched on it.

“What in God’s name were the Sheffield’s thinking with this monstrosity?” He says with a tsk. 

“Probably that Emily will need some pink in her gender-neutral, yellow and green nursery,” she surmises. “We’ll put it out when they’re over and throw it in the back of her closet when they’re gone.”

“You’re growing soft in your old age. A couple months ago you would have suggested burning it,” Niles raises his eyebrows at her.

“Are you saying I’m losing my touch, Butler Boy?” She can’t help the challenging note that creeps into her voice.

“Never. I’m saying motherhood suits you,” He winks at her and she feels herself welling up.

“Oh, let me get a picture of you two,” she says as she blinks away the tears and fumbles for their camera.

She furiously snaps away at her husband and daughter, not wanting to miss a moment, when Emily begins fussing.

“Are pictures of this really necessary?” Niles deadpans. 

“Absolutely. I’m framing this and putting it in her baby book,” CC cackles as the Emily’s cries grow louder.

“You wicked, wicked woman,” Niles groans as he bounces the baby up and down, trying to soothe her.

Emily responds by projectile vomiting all over Niles.

A moment of dead silence passes throughout the stunned room before CC erupts in hysterical laughter, snapping one last picture of her little family.

“Nine months of dwelling in your womb. I should have known you’d condition her to torture me,” Niles says as he passes their now placated daughter back to her, grabbing a cloth to clean himself up.

“And it’s only the beginning, babe. Only the beginning,” CC says as they exchange exhausted, deliriously happy grins.

She turns her attention back to Emily, wiping the trace spit-up remaining on her angelic face. The baby yawns and her bright, blue eyes flutter closed as she drifts off into a content slumber.

“Emily,” CC says as she snuggles closer to her daughter, “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

 

**The End!**


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